We start off with one of my favorite stories... your list is at the bottom of the page.

~ODDBALL~

Nil Guillemette, S.J.

On Eagle's Wings - God Tales for Young & Old

St Paul Publications

"God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong. God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring nothing things that are."

~1 Corinthians 1:27-28

Manny was at a loss. How on earth could he ever write a five-hundred word essay on such an uninspiring topic as "The Human Hand"? Pacing the floor of his room, for the sixth time he reread the specifications given in his course on Philosophy of Man: "Compose a five-hundred word essay on The Human Hand, stressing it's role and significance regarding the evolution of our species towards rational thought."

"This guy must be nuts," Manny thought, irreverently refering to his Philosphy professor. "Who the hell can write five hundred words on the human hand? May a novelist with a lot of imagination, but certainly not a mere undergraduate like me!"

In disgust he threw his notebook on the desk, sat down, propped his feet on the chair and decided to relax his tired brain for a few minutes by closing his eyes and emptying his mind of all thought-- a procedure which plunged him into a deep sleep within seconds, for Manny had a remarkable capacity for catnapping at will.

While he was sleeping, the fingers of his right hand began to whisper excitedly to one another. (Of course, a lot of people don't know that fingers can talk, but that is a fact, even though only poets and highly intuitive artists can interpret the language of fingers.) So, as I was saying, Manny's right hand fingers were all aflutter owing to the fact that they were to be the subject of a philosophical essay-- a rare treat for any part of the body, I suppose. Anyway, they were soon speculating on what Manny would write about them, and naturally each figure ambitioned a leading role in the student's literary production. In fact, each set out to convince his colleagues that he should be the star of the show.

All this led to the usual escalade of innuendos, acerbic comments and downright insulting remarks, so much so that the exchange would have generated into a bitter quarrel, if common sense hadn't prevailed. This was the thumb's contribution. He had kept quiet from the outset, but when the squabble rose to a deafening pitch, he respectfully suggested, "Why don't you hold a formal debate about this?" His advice was heeded (though rather reluctantly, for he was despised by the four fingers) and each was alloted a speech period during which he would expose the reason why any sensible study of the human hand should center on him rather than on the other fingers. As for the order to be followed, it was agreed upon that the most practical thing to do would be to adopt a sequence provided by nature; first the thumb, then the first finger, and so forth.

The thumb modestly excused himself from participating in the debate. "You see," he pleaded, "I am so different from the four of you that there are practically no ground of comparison between us. Whereas you are slender, elegant and aristocratic, I am stubby, unrefined and quite plebeian. Furthermore, my solitary position at the one side of the hand, by severely limiting my dealings with your distinguished company, has made me rather inarticulate when it comes to self expression. And so I beg you to disregard my presence here."

This was not difficult for the fingers to do, for they already disregarded the thumbs presence anyhow. So even without a polite protest, they accepted his speech at face value. "After all," each one thought smugly, "he said it himself: no one is uglier or commoner than he is. He's certainly no competition for us."

The matter being thus settled, the first finger quickly launched the debate.

"I believe," he began, "I have a unique role in the hand's performance, since I am the only finger that points. In fact, of the four fingers I am the only one to have a name. As the Index, I have the honor of being constantly used to guide people toward their destination, to indicate something with precision, to emphasize a point, to call on people's attention (the raised finger of the orator), to retrace the lines of a diagram or a map -- and a host of other useful functions." He had much more to say, but soon his alloted time had run out and he had to yield the floor to the next speaker.

The middle finger made no bones of his importance in hands various functions.

"Being the tallest and the strongest of all the digits," he began, discounting as a negligible exception the thumb's superior strength, "I have a major part to play in all of the hand's activities. Major is the word, my friends. And here, I would like to qualify my predecessor's remarks: it's true that unlike the Index, I do not have a specific name in English, but in French for instance I am called the Major -- no doubt because of the major role I hold in the hand's operations." He went on in this vein for quite awhile,but eventually he too ran out of time.

The third finger lost no time in assuring his colleagues of his enormous significance in the scheme of things.

"It is not for nothing that I am called the Ring Finger," he declared in a finely modulated voice. "For indeed, I bear the rings humans wear: marriage rings, episcopal rings, fraternity rings, friendship rings, ornament rings, rings of all kinds. This means that my role is unique among the hands functions, since I am the digit that expresses love, commitment and fidelity." On and on the third finger went, quite unaware in his vanity that his audience was becoming restless. But mercifully, his time ran out also.

The speech of the fourth and last finger was a model of ingenuity. Not being able to boast of anything in particular, he boasted of his insignificance.

"I too have a specific name in French," he cried out in his high-pitched voice, "and quite apposite it is, for being the Auricular (as the French say) I am the only digit that can effectively clean the ear. But that is only a symbol of the thousand other functions which I alone am able to perform in virtue of my exquisite shape andsize. Moreover, my position at the extreme end of the hand make me indispensable to musicians who must reach far notes on the keyboard or any other instrument for that matter, not to mention my usefulness to typists, computer technicians and countless other professions. In fact..." The fourth finger launched on a long digression about his various functions in the admission rites of several secret societies, but lack of time prevented him from going further afield.

After the four orators had delivered their respective haranques, there was a lull in the debate. What were they to do next? Rest their case? Undertake another round of speeches? Fortunately, the problem was solved by the simple fact of Manny's sudden awakening from his catnap. "Now," the fingers thought, "we shall know which one of us will receive special treatment in the young man's essay."

Refreshed from his siesta, Manny attacked the topic with a renewed vigor. All the more so because of the sight of his brand new Encyclopedia Britannica (a legacy from his doting grandfather) had given him an idea. Surely that magnificent reference work would contain relevant material on the human hand! And so, almost at random, he consulted the articles "Hominidae," "Muscle System, Human" and "Joint". He was so impressed by what he found that he began reading aloud the more interesting parts, thus unwittingly revealing to the five digits of his right hand the precise direction his essay was about to take. These paragraphs he read aloud:

"Man's hand is an impressive organ that distinguishes him from all other living primates. Beyond nonlocomotor and nonprehensie function (e.g. shoving, clubbing, or poking with the fingers), prehension and the precise movements of the human hand are unique, generated by what probably is the most elegantly skillful biological organ ever evolved. All primates except man rely on their forelimbs and hands as major organs of locomotion. Man alone has freed his hands for manipulation by specializing for erect posture and biped locomotion."

"The most characteristic figure of the hand is a truly opposable thumb - that is, one that rotates at the carpometacarpal joint so that it opposes the other four fingers."

"The retention of a full-fledged thumb by man distinguishes him from his relatives, who swing in the trees. The muscles that can place the thumb in apposition to the other digits are responsible for human grasp."

The thumb can be swung from side to side or from behind and forward. But the most frequent movement is called opposition (i.e. of thumb to fingers). The reverse movement is that which swings it so that it comes 'face to face' with one or another of the fingers, as in grasping a needle or a ball. This movement is called reposition. During opposition the thumb is rotated along its long axis; it has been said that our civilization depends upon the opposition of the thumb."

Manny laid down the heavy tomes and leaned back on his chair. "...Our civilization depends on the opposition of the thumb," he repeated thoughtfully. "Well, well, well," he added, addressing his thumb in mock admiration, "what a little hero you are, my friend! Who would have believed that you are so important in man's destiny? Anyhow, thanks to you - and the the Encyclopedia Britannica - now I have lots of things to say about The Human Hand" And so, without further hesitation he set about expanding on the new insights he had gained from his readings. Naturally, he gave the lion's share of the essay to the thumb, since civilization itself depends on this smallest and least impressive-looking of the digits!

In the matter of judging our fellowmen, we often follow the example of the four fingers and look down on the unconventional, the non-conformist, the weird, the oddball. But it might well be that we are badly mistaken. In fact, many of us would be quite shocked to learn what God thinks of the oddball.

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